Massage Instead of Sex?

Most men who respond to massage ads respond to ads for sex.  It is unfortunately so in 95% of cases, which makes the work of real massage therapists harder. Many men think that artificial sex with strangers is more rewarding than well done massage because those men don’t know, therefore cannot appreciate the importance and benefits of real massage. This may be due to social conditioning and the impact of the euphemism for unrelated activities that the word massage has become. So here are the tremendous benefits and unassuming, understated, powerful intimacy of the beautiful art of massage. 

Massage is one of the most powerful forms 
of physical contact in the context of intimacy and therapy. If massage combines with essential oils, it is by far the most important application in aromatherapy. This is the case because it allies the therapeutic power of touch with the properties of the essential oils chosen for a particular person at a specific time.

Massage with or without essential oils formalizes a very primitive instinct. When a child falls, his mother will rub his bumped knee. Likewise if we trip over and bruise ourselves, our unthinking first reaction will be to rub the painful area. Similarly, if we find a friend in distress, we’ll offer a reassuring hug. All these are forms of healing, whether on a physical or emotional level. Rubbing a painful part of the body encourages a stronger flow of blood in the tiny capillaries below the surface of the skin. And this helps to ease the pain. A hug is a way of communicating sympathy and love that we may not be able to put into words.

Both kinds of healing enter into massage and sex
The masseuse performs a variety of strokes to relieve pain, ease tight muscles, increase circulation, or benefit the physical body in other ways. She applies the strokes to the muscles visible below the surface of the skin. And their effects also benefit the deeper layers of muscle and the underlying organs.  Some forms of massage aim to benefit only the physical body. But a general feeling of wellbeing will result and enhance the degree of relaxation which we will experience after a massage.  Renewed energy and vigour will follow this deep relaxation. The benefit of massage is cumulative. The recipient will almost always feel good for several hours after a massage. And regular massage will prolong the feeling of wellbeing for increasing periods after each treatment.

Massage has several profound benefits
Massage can release tight muscles and act as reeducation due to making us aware of unnecessarily tensing certain muscles. It also teaches us to feel the difference between a tight or contracted and relaxed muscle. We often do not realize that we tighten certain muscles until we feel those muscles relaxed during and after a massage. It is perfectly normal to tense muscles when we feel mentally tense. But it is important to be able to let go of this tension before the tight muscles convey discomfort and unease to the mind and set up a vicious circle of tension. This is one way in which mental stress can lead to physical symptoms. Massage can break this circle, especially when we work with essential oils that have a calming, soothing, or uplifting effect on the mind and body.

Some systems of massage
such as the eastern massage and various kinds of intuitive massage developed in the past 40 years take the link between body and mind further. Hence they work mainly on the connection between the mental and physical states of the recipient of massage. Letting go of physical tensions often leads to a release of emotions. This can relate to the person’s present situation or to something that has been stored in the body for a long time.  The masseuse and the recipient must build a relationship of deep trust and sympathy before such catharsis can take place. And this building happens over several treatments. One of the ideas inherent in eastern massage is that by gently working on the physical surface tensions deeper tensions will come to the surface and eventually be released.

The variety of massage techniques is enormous. I believe that the technique used doesn’t matter as much as the masseuse’s caring and nurturing attitude to the recipient. And the recipient’s trust in the masseuse.

Massage is vital to aromatherapy
because it provides the most effective way of introducing essential oils to the body. The skin absorbs the oils very readily. When we massage the whole body, a useful amount of essential oil goes into the bloodstream in a short time. The essential oils are diluted in carrier oils. If it isn’t possible to  massage the whole body, a back massage offers the best possibility of getting sufficient essential oil into the body for a therapeutic effect. This is because the back presents the single largest expanse of skin on the body.

Massage is better than sex with strangers
because to have sex with a stranger in completely artificial conditions is unnatural.  That’s why many men can’t marry paying for it with feeling it and end up feeling empty after it.  No one in real life would pull a woman [who doesn’t sell sex] off the street and throw her into the bedroom to have sex on demand. Even people on dating sites and apps who have sex on a first date will have corresponded before they meet. So since sex with a woman who sells it is artificial in unnatural conditions, it’s forced.  A massage by a therapist whom you don’t know is far more natural because it’s perfectly socially accepted and doesn’t involve sexual intimacy and embarrassment. It’s not in one’s face. This is why massage, if done well, is far more rewarding than artificial sex.

The benefits of massage vs. artificial sex
go even further.  I’ve described the four less obvious ones in this article. Would you like to talk about any of them?