To All Sexually Frustrated Men

The Light Bringer To The World

Coaching for men

Being intimately frustrated is certainly not an accident. It happens because some things that men do and don't do make it so. Men may think that the reason why they are intimately frustrated is rather straightforward. But in most cases it is not. After all, intimate frustration accumulates due to a combination of factors. And one can certainly influence a lot of them.  So how can intimately frustrated men get the body and mind to live in harmony? How can they be intimate fulfilled? Here're some handy ways:

Be real

• Mean what you say, say what you mean. Never mind the culture. Be true to your heart and gut feelings.
• Tell the truth even if it may be cruel or unpleasant.
• Ask: "Does what I do align with who I am?"
• Let your humour out more often. Laugh fully and make others laugh.
• Be your boss. Judge and decide for yourself.

Improve your state

• Create environments which support your purposes.
• Always improve physical flexibility.
• Explore how it feels to be congruent.
• Also explore a variety of nurturing activities such as massage, meditation, acupuncture, homeopathy, Alexander technique, cranial osteopathy, yoga, Tai Chi, Reiki.
• Notice how you feel in the body and mind. Practise focus to be more centered.
• Respect your body and its urges. Never repress bodily urges.
• Relax.

Address problems

• Ask yourself what you're afraid of when you avoid something.
• Explore your fears and phobias.
• Resolve doubts and inhibitions.
• Release negative emotions.
• Know your limiting beliefs in every aspect of life.

What makes you intimately frustrated?

• Is it the environment? The wife / partner or not having a partner?
• Is it the time for intimacy or not having time for intimacy?
• Or is it the atmosphere that you create or don't create for intimacy?
• Is it what you do for or during intimacy?
• Is it the match or mismatch of your partner's style of intimacy?
• Or do you perhaps have limiting beliefs about aspects of intimacy?

Resolve conflicts with yourself

• Be aware of the sights, sounds, feelings of when and how you're congruent and also incongruent.
• Explore incongruence: what happens when you lie? How do you feel? What body language do you display?
• Also find out what exactly you need in order to be congruent.
• Find conflicts in your dreams, revisit them, resolve them.
• SCORE as often as you can = find the symptoms, causes, outcomes, resources, effects of incongruent behaviours. Then resolve them.
• Reconcile conflicting parts of you.
• Match words with body language.

Resolve conflicts with others

• Find new responses to people's incongruence.
• Get curious about the good intentions of people's actions.
• Learn to look at issues from many angles.
• Write to people with whom you have conflicts. Offer to explain rather than blame.

Notice what works

• Notice things and situations which increase your congruence and do more of them.
• Pay more attention to the "trivial" and mundane.
• Regularly review your goals. Are they current and appropriate?
• Review your experiences. Reflect on how you achieved what you achieved.

Do what matters

• Set clear well formed outcomes to which you will effortlessly commit.
• Keep asking 'what do I want?'. What do you want to look back on in your 90s so as to say 'I've lived as I wished, my life has therefore been meaningful and made a good difference'?.
• Help others to set and effortlessly commit to clear outcomes. That will indeed make you better at doing so for yourself.
• Play wholeheartedly without wondering whether you're too old or what others think.
• Do what you believe in.
• Express what you REALLY want in difficult situations.
• Fulfill  (even unspoken) promises to yourself and others.
• Do more of what you enjoy and less of what you should.
• Say no to what you don't enjoy.
• Similarly, decline offers that don't appeal to you.
• Take control. Choose to do things instead of being influenced by pressure from others.
• Speak or stay silent when you feel the desire to.
• Mentally rehearse behaving congruently before challenging events.
• Develop creativity.
• Tell stories and express yourself freely.
• Use metaphors and images more. Hence create a strong partnership between the conscious and unconscious mind.
• Constantly look for ways to improve the quality of life.
• Spend time with people who excel in areas which you need to develop.

Be more aware of yourself, you will not be intimately frustrated

• Spend the first and last moment of a day on focusing on what it all has been for.
• Be clear about your values, criteria, and actions that honor the criteria for your key roles and relationships.
• Pace your internal responses.
• Ask yourself how what you do expresses who you are.
• Be curious about the good intentions of all your actions.
• Change your internal dialogue from 'I can't...' to 'How can I...?' and 'Who can help me?'.
• Pay more attention to your dreams at day and night.
• Do more for yourself of what you do for others.
• Commit to continuous self-development and engage in specific ways to achieve it.
• At the end of every day ask 'what have I learned today? What have I contributed today? What has been exquisite or fun? When was I congruent / incongruent?'.

Intimately frustrated? You're not alone.

In conclusion the good news is that any man can cure intimate frustration himself. Given these points, to start this process also consider getting some coaching. Or would you like to know anything else? You can certainly ask.